To Mom, With Love

Below is what I wrote for my Mom's Memorial in Louden TN on Saturday, April 5, 2014 along with a link to the video that inspired it (click on the post title). 

To Mom, With Love

April 5, 2014  Louden, TN

When I was here in February, my Mother sat my oldest sister and I down to discuss her wishes for today. A difficult conversation to be sure. And the thing she asked of me was to create a slideshow of her life to share. To be honest, the request was daunting. For one, I had just begun the massive task of packing up the home in which my husband and I had lived and raised our children for nearly 21 years. But that she wanted to see it first, a pre-approval viewing so to speak (?!) was far more panic-worthy from my point of view!

As we went through old pictures, Mom interjecting snippets of the who, when or where of the stories behind the frozen image, it was like old times, but I absolutely and instantly recognized that I had my work cut out for me.

Now I will interject here to say that when I was growing up, Mom wasn’t exactly Dr Phil’s “soft place” to land. If you fell, you had all of about 30 seconds to get back up, dust yourself off and figure out what you were going to do next, literally and figuratively. Then she would often say, “Let me tell you something…” and she would do just that! Mom was never shy in sharing her opinion.  So that this slideshow was all that she was asking of me? Well, let me tell YOU something… there was no way I wasn’t delivering!  

But just between you and me, I believed I had more time. Most importantly and with all of my heart, I believed she had more time.

When the winds changed all too quickly with her health just two weeks later and the closing on my home loomed large, my sisters pitched in with the full force that only two older sisters can provide. They gathered, scanned and restored old photos so I could continue to pack boxes and just focus on laying something together in time for Mom to see.

Into the shared drop box the pictures came pouring. Some all-time favorites and others I’d never seen before. There were a lot of them. And so…. I began. 

Now I’ve known for a very long time that my Mother was strong, but seeing the whole of her life, those blue eyes often looking back at me through the camera’s lens (and she had beautiful eyes), I was humbled beyond belief by what I can only describe as an unfailing strength of character. 

And I stand here today to fully confess that it was not until I was packing up the past 20 years of my own life while simultaneously rewinding through the 75 of hers that I found myself wholly appreciative for just how completely remarkable a woman my Mother truly was. 

She was tenacious and gifted and loyal and brave. Braver than anyone I’ve ever known. She was resilient and funny and witty and kind. And she instilled in all of us a fierce loyalty to our friends and most especially to our family, along with the determination to make your life whatever it is you wanted it to be.  

I was heartbroken to not be with her when she saw it. But I am so glad to know my sister Debbie was there as witness, and even more so that she liked it. She really liked it.  But mostly, I am so incredibly thankful that I was given the opportunity to show her just how proud she should be of the life and legacy she would all too soon leave behind. 

And the real truth is that what began as a last gift to my mother had ultimately become her greatest gift to me. And let me tell you something… I am really going to miss her.