By acknowledging that my siblings lead fabulous lives, I didn’t mean to imply that I didn’t have it pretty good myself. Because on most scores, I do. It’s just, as I’ve said, different. For example, for the past several months, I’ve been consumed with buying a little slice of heaven in a tiny hamlet called Chautauqua Institution in New York. Five generations of my family have spent their summers in this place and it has been a life dream to someday have a place there to call our own. So back in September, I embarked on the process to make this a reality.
After much searching, we found a charming little condo with a great porch and a view of the lake. Perfect. But before I go talking about the cart (and really, at less than 900 square feet, it’s not much bigger than one), let’s talk about this horse that is a mortgage.
Whereas my two older sisters would simply plunk down a big pile of green stuff to buy a property and then plunk down another big pile to transform it into something out of Architectural Digest (and have), my station in life is to work with an industry that has been raked over the coals by a mortgage crisis in a current economy that has left more than a few folks smoldering in the ashes. Let’s just say, it’s not as easy as it used to be.
Not that I ever really understood how easy it used to be either. It’s been nearly 17 years since I’ve dealt with getting any kind of mortgage. Yes, we refinanced at one point about 10 years ago when the rates were low enough to warrant it, but that’s not the same thing. However, what’s also true is that 17 years ago there wasn’t this thing called the Internet where you could simply Google the phrase “getting a mortgage” and be met with 68,900,000 results in exactly .11 seconds. Yes, it’s awesome that you can cue up all kinds of things you knew absolutely nothing about less than half a second ago. But it’s also a tad overwhelming, especially when the goal is to learn everything there is to know just so you’ll appear less stupid than you really are. At best, I’ve ended up only slightly less stupid. After all, I was an English major.
Up until a few years ago, you could apparently just show up at a bank and politely ask the person sitting behind the desk for a large sum of cash to finance your dream. Actually, I don’t think you even had to be all that polite about it. Bad credit? No problem. No money? It’s all good. It’s not like that anymore. In fact, it’s quite the opposite and for some very good reason.
When it comes to understanding the business of lending these days, especially via the Internet, paying attention to when things were written becomes prudent. The good news is that headlines and taglines extolling the boon of sub prime mortgages or the benefits of 0% down became an easy tip that I was dealing with outdated information, eliminating the vast majority of the 68,900,000 hits of my search. What I did learn during this round, however, is that a good part of the housing bust problem was the fault of the people lending money to people who couldn’t possibly keep up with the moving targets of variable interest rates and resulting balloon payments because, duh, they had no air to breath under their already suffocating debt. But that’s enough about what I didn’t need to know. Suffice it to say there were a lot of additional links on “how to avoid foreclosure” and "plummeting house prices" during this particular hit parade.
What I did need to know, and am still learning, is that buying real estate in New York is very different than buying property in Minnesota, regardless of a need for a mortgage to help finance the thing. And buying something in Chautauqua is hugely different than buying something anywhere else where the average age of property is far younger than 100 years old. Go figure. At the end of the day, hiring an attorney to protect your interests is not only good business; it’s absolutely necessary to doing business.
Add to this a self-employed husband who doesn’t receive your typical W-2 to confirm income, and you’re then dealing with things like copies of K-1’s, cancelled checks and bank statements ad nauseum, to say nothing of tax returns, current mortgage statements and signing over the rights to your first born. (No, not really. But if Rumpelstiltskin happens to show up any time soon, I am in trouble). We also have not a small wrinkle in that we are trying to do all of this via email and fax from a thousand miles away. So toss in the need for Power of Attorneys in there as well. In the end, it would have been a heck of a lot easier if I had had boatloads of cash. But, hey, when it comes to living a life, EVERYTHING is easier with boatloads of cash. I could even buy the boat to hold it all!
Where we are now (sans money boat) is that assets have been confirmed, appraisals have been done, insurance confirmed, overnight deliveries made and documents documented. And while not completely done without the help of a well-phrased Google now and then, none of it would have been possible without the incredible assistance of some very nice people along the way. Flowers seem appropriate. Most important, however, is that I can almost see heaven from here. ALMOST!
Stay tuned (and maybe cross some fingers and toes)!